i guess i'm the one should be blame.
i'm the one who asked for it.
so i had to swallow every pain that i have done to you. :'((
i'm so so so goddamn sorry for what i had done to you. :'((
i deserve it !
you should be with someone much more better than i am.
it just hard for me to accept the fact,
that you already move on.
i just love you so much that can damage my own heart.
i'm totally lost without you. :(
i'm dying inside.
but, can i repel my own mistakes toward him ?
i think that won't be necessary.
because i shouldn't be with him at all.
i don't deserve him.
i'm not worthy enough for him.
i just can't sit tight if i don't know any news from you.
it's making me crazy.
now, everyday and every night.
i have to face myself that i'm alone again.
or i was alone all this time.
i don't want to be loved anymore.
it hurts me like hell. :'((
i don't want to have any emotion that might bring me down.
i don't want that to happen again.
but it just i miss him so much,
that can't be describe by words.
i'm tired of crying.
but my tears won't stop flowing every each time i think of you.
please stop killing me.
please ~
i'm begging you.
i don't want to lose you.
i miss how you made all the stupid jokes, your laugh, your smile.
your eyes were pure and full of cares every each time you look at me.
ohhh ~ i miss all the moments that we had been together through pain and good :'))
it was the best moment ever in my life.
to me,
meeting you, knowing you and to be loved by you were the best thing that ever happen to me :'))



now, i guess it's all over from now.
no more all the moments anymore.
i guess i'm all alone again,
i will became a person that keep searching the way out from all this pain.
but never found it.

i'm such bad person to hurt you like that. now i deserve it, for you i'm willing to take every each pain i gave to you. i'm sorry for what i had done before this. i'm sorry :'(

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